"Rabid beasts and my first lesson up in flames (but not in that order)."

12/4/11

The end of the first week of class had come and all that stood between a three day beach trip and myself was the first of three mini lessons I would teach before having to plan and execute a full blown class (actually, a week straight of them!). In reality, I wasn't too worried about it, after all it was only a “how to”, which meant simply teaching associated vocabulary and no grammar rules (etc) on the topic of my choice.  My topic, which I was pretty pumped about, was how to roast a marshmallow, a plan derived from my limited list of available prop resources, i.e. things in my room. It also included igniting a fire with my camping stove inside the classroom, which has to get you some bonus points right? With my lesson mostly set and my idea approved, I slept in until about 10:00, which left me with about 3 hours to finish planning, eat breakfast, buy camping fuel (since I emptied my bottle prior to flying afraid of airport difficulties) and marshmallows and print out my extra copies. Very doable, but a bit of a narrow window to leave myself. I finish things at the house and purchase the items on the way to school. The gas, from a True Value of all places, is “Coleman camping fuel”, but says nowhere on the can that it is the white gas I specifically need and costs $30 U. S. a gallon! Far too committed at this point, I buy it begrudgingly and hustle to the school. With around 45 minutes left, I print my copies and light the stove outside for practice, not knowing if/how this mystery fuel will burn. It works, but flames up much higher than usual. I get it under enough control and decide to proceed with my plans.

When my turn arrives, the beginning is shaky. “They’re blowing through my vocab!” I thought. My lesson has to last twenty minutes. The pace quickly shifts and several unplanned words are questioned, one being much harder to convey than predicted (“slightly”). Now without going too far into it, we have to teach this material without giving any answers; it’s almost like every charades-esque game you’ve ever played. We must make the students figure things out with only associations and other tools on the spot. So after taking far too long to get through this process, I finally give them a quick practice assignment and cherish a second to breathe. Unfortunately as they finish, I get the “4 minute” warning and I haven’t gotten to the fire yet! To make a long story short (I know, not my style) I confabulate a plan to combine my last three exercises into one. After a brief, non verbal plea to the teacher observing, to let me proceed with the activity despite the time, I “act out” the answers to the how to scramble exercise as the students read them aloud. I notice a panicked look in the observer’s eyes as I grab the mallows and see that the placemat I used as a barrier between the stove and the chair, on which it is sitting, is also on fire! “Not to worry”, I calmly lied, and splashed some water under the stove to douse the unwanted flames. Somewhere in the middle of the instructions as the students were just getting their mallow over the stove, time was finally called. So close! Not the smoothest performance, but not a terrible first attempt. (Rabid beast portion soon to follow…)